Megan walked out the door before the first live eviction.
[Warning: This story contains spoilers from Sunday’s episode of CBS’ Big Brother season 19.]
On Thursday, when the Big Brother season 19 live feeds went live, one thing was noticeably missing: one of the houseguests.
Megan Lowder, a 28-year-old dog walker who also once worked in a prison in the Middle East, was gone. Her picture on the memory wall was faded to gray, and no clear explanation was given.
Based on the houseguests’ conversations about what happened to her, fans were quick to judge Megan last week, claiming she “locked herself” in the diary room and “self-evicted.” Even former players of the game expressed similar sentiments along with disbelief that a contestant had quit before the game really began.
Megan, who was predicted as a potential winner by executive producer Allison Grodner, left the game for personal reasons. Since her exit, she has cited PTSD as being the root of her departure, and on Sunday’s episode, the events leading up to her exit showed the emotional toll this season had on her.
In the episode, she revealed in the diary room, “I just wish it wasn’t personal. Josh attacked me, now Cody’s attacking me. I feel like everyone’s attacking me. I just don’t know if I can handle it.”
After that, she became the center of racist allegations. While overhearing houseguest Jessica Graf talking about her ally Alex Ow, she claimed that Jessica had used a racial slur against Alex.
Megan notified Alex that she heard Jessica call her a “panda,” which she interpreted as racist telling her, “Isn’t that a little racist?” Although Jessica did not call her a “panda,” she did refer to her as season 16 houseguest Paola Shea, who is also of Asian decent. Jessica referred to her as Paola’s nickname “Pao Pao,” and Shea has since taken to Twitter to call the comparison by Jessica, and fans of the show, racist.
With Alex not believing Megan, this led her to being yelled at yet again in the house and then emotionally breaking down in the diary room. The dog walker had now become the most isolated houseguest in the game and returned to the diary room, from which she then didn’t come back.
When she didn’t return from being in the diary room for “hours,” current head of household Cody read a statement from production to the entire house. The statement read, “Due to an urgent personal matter, Megan will no longer be participating in Big Brother this summer.”
And the reasoning was left at that. The PTSD that Megan has since spoken out about was not addressed. Her storyline on the show was wrapped up with her photo on the memory wall fading away and some of her now-former houseguests laughing at her exit. One houseguest who didn’t laugh, though, was current fan favorite Kevin Schleuber, who said, “I feel sorry for her. I just hope she’s all right.”