After seven years of twists, turns, fake-outs, network name-changes, and scary text messages, it’s hard to believe Pretty Little Liars is finally over. And while the show did its best to wrap things up, there still were plenty of moments that required a little suspension of disbelief. But that’s the show we know and love (and sometimes hate), right?
More analysis to come… but here we go, for the last time.
We start with the girls drinking coffee at night (that should have been a clue), discussing Mona’s lock-up and reminiscing about how they used to Google murder weapons and get “that tingly feeling” when they knew A was watching them. Lucas tap dances by in a white tux, and then Jenna follows in a ringmaster’s uniform on a white horse. Oh. It’s some kind of dream. Turns out it’s Mona’s, and when she comes to at Welby, someone’s in her room. “I never would have guessed it was you,” she says. “Are you here to kill me?”
Cut to one year later: Ezra and Aria are wandering through a studio lot the week of their wedding. Turns out their book just might become a movie. Everything’s coming up Ezria!
At the DiLaurentis-Fields house, Emily is feeding a baby… no wait, two babies! She and Ali have twins, Lily and Grace. They’re adorable, but something seems “off” with Ali.
Shortly after, she meets with Mrs. Fields at the Radley. “She doesn’t know you’re here, right?” Mrs. Fields says, before alluding to something about Emily being “taken care of.” Ali says, “Like I promised you, I will always be here for her.” The words are nice, but the tone is strange. What’s going on?
Ali and Emily might have babies, but Spencer has a pet: She’s bought a horse named Bashful, and she chats with Melissa at the stable. “I was hoping you’d consider swapping the barn for your old room,” Melissa jokes to Spencer — the first callback to the PLL pilot that we were promised in this finale. Toby comes around to say hi, and though the horse is temperamental and apparently only likes Spencer, he takes to Toby easily. Awww.
Ali’s still teaching English at Rosewood High, but required reading has changed a bit since we were in school: She’s teaching Ezra and Aria’s book. (Is it that good? Honestly?) A student chimes in about how Aria stole Ezra from Nicole (oh great, like they needed more people involved in their drama), another student calls Ali a “lesbo,” and that awful girl Addison we met a few episodes back says to Ali, “I could bury you… but then, it wouldn’t be the first time someone buried you alive, would it?” Whyyyy can’t someone punch her in the face?
Things get worse in this weird world of high school drama: A Deaf student finds a doll with a hearing aid in her locker, and it has a knife thrust into its chest. Apparently Addison is the bully (big surprise). Jenna — also a teacher at Rosewood, naturally — tells Addison to get to class, but Addison just makes fun of her for being blind. Real gem, this one! Then Jenna gives my favorite line of the night (for the last time!): “I may not be able to see, but I can smell a bitch a mile away.” YES JENNA!
Surprisingly, everything isn’t great with Caleb and Hanna, despite their past year in which apparently Hanna’s designs have taken off, Caleb sold his software (to Lucas), and they bought the loft (from Lucas). They would be nowhere without Lucas. Anyway, Mona’s going to live with them after getting out of Welby, and Caleb is less than thrilled, but Hanna still feels bad that her forcing Mona to play the game triggered her relapse and subsequent breakdown. Of course, shortly after Hanna and Caleb leave, Mona disappears.
That night, they have Aria and Ezra’s bachelorette/bachelor party, which is just all the couples having dinner at the Lost Woods, which Spencer and Ali now co-own after Mary gave it to them. (Best line during the party? After screams are heard in the distance and someone asks, “What was that?,” the answer is “Christians.” Apparently there’s a camp nearby.) All appears to be going smoothly, until we notice they’re being watched by a hooded figure: MELISSA HASTINGS?
At night, all the couples sleep together, although Hanna and Caleb just do it because they’re trying to have a baby, and Spencer and Toby just play Scrabble, then actually sleep.
Aria gets woken up by a phone call, which she answers frantically: “Hello? Are you sure?” Melissa watches out the window as Aria starts crying, telling Spencer, “I can’t marry Ezra.” Then Melissa removes her face (okay, mask), and who’s underneath? Mona, obviously. It’s always Mona.
Everyone tries to comfort Aria as she alludes to this big secret, and outside, Mona calls someone and wants to use what Aria’s saying, but the person (FaceTiming as Mona, which I’m only just now realizing was a giant clue to A.D.), says it was just a test to see whether she’d wear the Melissa mask. Inside, we learn that Aria’s upset because she’s found out she can’t have kids.
(Recap continues on page 2)